A vast, superhuman dance-based conspiracy revealed itself to hundreds of people at prom, an event I elected to attend alone so I could bring you the high caliber reporting you’ve become accustomed to.
Here’s what we know:
Trevor Drift, who hasn’t attended a single dance this year, suddenly shows up in a vintage suit and sets fire to the dance floor, metaphorically speaking. That’s when things got weird. A sinister cat whose name I’ve been unable to track down, barged in to watch Trevor dance. Suddenly, this mystery villain was joined—perhaps intercepted by—three government agents, probably assigned to an ultra-secret dance division within the CIA.
The trio joined Trevor on the dance floor and proceeded to let loose a wave of superhuman moves never seen before.
Before our principal could get to the bottom of the spectacle, the government agents escorted—kidnapped?—Trevor, escaping out of the back of the gym and vanishing into the dark night. As for the mystery man, well, that’s another piece of the puzzle I’ll have to solve. But before the night was through, I did pry some juicy info from Alice Wondershaw, who told me this about Trevor: “He’s an extraordinary dancer.” But Trevor’s chief rival for Alice’s affection, Brendan Broman wasn’t so sure those moves Trevor thrashed him with were regulation.
“He’s a freak of nature, like a lab experiment set loose on the dance floor,” Broman said.
If Drift really is part of some sort of government dance experiment, perhaps those agents were sent to return him to the lab. And this part is pure speculation, dear readers, but perhaps that mystery man was a foreign operative, sent here to steal U.S. dance secrets.
The answer to all of these questions is with Trevor, and as soon as I find him I’ll find the truth and bring it you on ColeWaters.com.