Cafeteria Catastrophe!

Posted: April 22, 2010 in Conspiracies

Cole Waters here, with another exclusive story that the school is scrambling to keep under wraps!  And readers, this one’s going to make you croak.  Remember the frogs we dissected in biology class last week?  Well this reporter has cause to believe that those swamp dwellers – or what was left of them after class, at any rate – were the secret ingredient in yesterday’s cafeteria meatloaf.  Even though I don’t have many “facts” or “evidence” to back this up, here’s what I do know:

  1. The meatloaf’s consistency was even slimier than usual – somewhere between “gristle” and “wet gym sock”
  2. Lunch Lady Lauren told me that the Meatloaf Surprise was practically jumping right onto people’s plates.  Coincidence?  I think not
  3. The lettuce in the mixed green salad looked suspiciously like lily pads

Rest assured that Cole Waters is on the case, monitoring any and all shipments in and out of the cafeteria kitchen.

  1. Kram says:

    I like meatloaf!

  2. zigzagG says:

    I knew there was something fishie…or should I say swampy, about that meatloaf!

  3. Elspeth says:

    Oh my goodness, that must be why they told us to make “clean cuts”. Isn’t that against child labor laws?

  4. You should be thankful. Many high school cafeterias don’t have a single green item on the menu.

  5. Janna says:

    I hope you have theories on this weeks vegetable medley because it was not from any farm that I have ever seen.

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