Cole Waters here, with another exclusive story that the school is scrambling to keep under wraps! And readers, this one’s going to make you croak. Remember the frogs we dissected in biology class last week? Well this reporter has cause to believe that those swamp dwellers – or what was left of them after class, at any rate – were the secret ingredient in yesterday’s cafeteria meatloaf. Even though I don’t have many “facts” or “evidence” to back this up, here’s what I do know:
- The meatloaf’s consistency was even slimier than usual – somewhere between “gristle” and “wet gym sock”
- Lunch Lady Lauren told me that the Meatloaf Surprise was practically jumping right onto people’s plates. Coincidence? I think not
- The lettuce in the mixed green salad looked suspiciously like lily pads
Rest assured that Cole Waters is on the case, monitoring any and all shipments in and out of the cafeteria kitchen.