LXD = XL Danger

Posted: August 11, 2010 in Conspiracies, LXD

I know how the LXD recruits its members. But first, dear reader, a little housekeeping.

The hacks at the local news have picked up on my frog meat cafeteria story. Unfortunately, those half-wits have dropped the ball. Calling my reporting “questionable” and claiming that my style is “fraught with delusional paranoia,” those propaganda-merchants at Channel 10 ran their own report on our cafeteria. In that fanciful feat of frog fiction, they claimed that the meat in question was chicken, which is “often mistaken for various exotic meats.” Were this a piece of straight reporting it would be dead wrong. But given what this ace journalist has uncovered about the LXD, the frog fiction is clearly an obvious attempt by those acting in concert with this league of extraordinary dancers to discredit me. But what these propagandists fail to realize is that I won’t be stopped and the truth will come out.

Here is the unvarnished truth those who claim to be in the “news” business don’t want you to know.

First, the LXD. recruits only those who have mastered one specific dance style. Obviously, this is indicative of a highly evolved, possibly dangerous, dance conspiracy that has a deep well of specialists for any eventuality.

Second, potential recruits draw the attention of the LXD by posting dance videos online. Judging from the sheer number of dance videos online, it’s fair to say that anyone—your friends, your neighbors, even you—could be in the LXD.

Third, and this is pure conjecture at this point, the LXD values style and ingenuity above all else. Members seem to make ample use of their environment, incorporating everyday items into their dance routine. Obviously, this means that the LXD is capable of striking anywhere, anytime.

Fourth, recruitment is on the LXD’s terms alone. Extraordinary seems to be the key word here. Only the elite are chosen, thus confirming the hunch that we’re obviously dealing with a super-human dance force.

If you have been recruited by the L.X.D., and you’re brave enough to help shed light on the truth, contact this fearless reporter at ColeWaters.com.

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Comments
  1. Kyle Longhurst says:

    Cole- thanks for the inspiration to post my dancing online. I’ll keep you posted on my induction into the LXD. Thanks for the great investigating.

    • Chris C. says:

      yo i’ve been recruited to the LXD! i cant believe it! i am leaving my hometown to the LXD homebase to dance for them! wish me luck!

      • chrys t says:

        are you allowed to share where the LXD homebase is? Congrats & best of skill for your audition

      • James says:

        ya right liar

      • Jose vasquez says:

        Good luck bro and if you would do me a favor and tell Jon or the lxd to take a look at me I bleed and sweat everyday trying to prove I can be one of the best. My name is jose vasquez also known as bboy sunshine and I wish to jehova god I can have a chance to join please dear friend. Contact me at 845 725 7874 if you can.thank you

  2. Jebbica says:

    They are claiming that the meatloaf was actually chicken?! Because that totally makes more sense than frog meat. Channel 10 sounds like THEIR credibility should be the one in question to me!

  3. jess says:

    im loving this!!!

  4. Rip Slyme says:

    thanks you for the advice i will try this and keep you posted

  5. Jing says:

    only dance? what about choreography? music?

  6. FloodGateOpen says:

    I’m not much of a dancer myself, but I know a few people who might be willing to help. I’ll try to get those videos online and let you know!

  7. marvelasian says:

    Are there any dance styles that will not get you in the LXD?

  8. Mom says:

    Honey, did you remember your jacket today? It’s a little chilly. Love you, Mom

  9. irish says:

    hmmm. maybe i should pay more attention…

  10. Chris C. says:

    oh also u guys should watch the LXD on hulu.com…

  11. Alan says:

    i believe you might be wrong cole. i’m not sure that anyone can invite or matriculate any amazing dancer into the LXD. if you have a heart large enough to claim membership; you are most certainly…one of us.

    😉

  12. t says:

    Cole where are you buddy? It’s been lonely without you around keeping us busy as we get prepared what may be ahead. The video about the Fan Boyz really put everything in perspective but without direction how do you expect us to help. Can you post a new blog, video, clue something? Otherwise we will just assume you are not as invested in the LXD as we first imagined.

  13. Alicia says:

    Hey I found these coordinates, and I think they might be the location of the LXD! Do you think you could find out more Cole?

    N 41 degrees 009, W 91 degrees 962

    Keep reporting Cole!!!!!!

  14. LXD fan says:

    Hey! Can anyone tell me if the show came first or the site?

  15. Dee says:

    hey cole just search the lxd at thelxd.com LOL
    this movie so cool~

  16. Veronica says:

    Cole what happened to you? Are you ok??

  17. The Unknown says:

    Hey Cole, where’d you go? Seems unlike you to stop posting your investigations for three months like this… Hope you didn’t get into any kind of trouble out there…

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